Private Logs of a Cerberus Vessel
by blood colored ink
Summary: Sequel to Normandy's Private Log's, you don't have to read the first one but it's highly recommended to grasp everything talked about it this one.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Mass Effect... no matter how hard I pretend :c**

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Normandy SR-2 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry One:

No air, no hope it was over and I was completely defenseless, it didn't matter how strong I fought it how hard I thought for a way out, It was over I was left breathless. The memory of that last moment is burned into my mind forever, they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, well I guess I just got to walk away from that just as strong as I was when it happened, plus a few Cerberus upgrades.  
How did this even happen? Two years? and Cerberus was the one to bring me back of all people, if there was any chance I still had a soul before its gone now... what would Ashley say, I can t tell her, there s no point I m probably gonna die again anyway and I don t need her telling me how wrong all of this is, that I m just a defective Cerberus experiment because I already know that. At least Joker and the doc are with me but I don t know about the new crew, Kelly is sweet in the blissfully oblivious to Cerberus' real intentions kind of way. Jacob holds so much resentment towards the Alliance, whether deserving or not the Alliance still is part of me his hate towards them makes me nervous. Ken and Gabby are fun to have around I m always up to play cards and relax. But then there s Miranda, she s probably the only one on this ship that could kill me (I haven't decided if that s a good thing or a bad thing yet) she spent two years rebuilding me head to toe, yet she does not seem all that eager to actually work with me, is she jealous? I'm the new favorite and she can't stand it, ha! She would space me if I even tried to tell her that, she suggested that we start our new found adventure on Omega looking for a Salarian doctor named Mordin.  
Next stop: Omega ETA four hours.

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**A/N: there you have it. the start of the sequel, so um... review please? :3**


	2. Chapter 2

Normandy SR-2 Operative Lawson Private Logs Entry One:

Shes not what I expected to say the least, for starters she doesn t seem to understand the severity of this mission she walks around smirking and joking with the crew. And of course her attitude toward the illusive man, he spent four billion credits to bring her back I spent two years of my life to make sure she would be exactly the same and she still treats us like were the bad guys. We do what we have to for the interest of humanity, some times we have to cross a few lines but they're necessary if she would open her eyes she would see that.  
Next stop: Omega ETA two hours.  



	3. Chapter 3

Normandy SR-2 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Two:

I really hope Mordin is as smart as they make him out to be, because if I m going to have to listen to him talk and talk and talk I better be getting something out of it, I mean my god Kelly described him as a "hamster on coffee" and I think that s an understatement. But he isn't Cerberus, and as far as I m concerned that means one less crew member to be watching. Most of the crew is handling have an alien aboard pretty well I mean for being Cerberus. Jacob even stopped me from telling the good doctor to shut up. Maybe with time I just might be able to get use to this whole keeping company with terrorist s thing and actually be able to relax completely on this ship. I got a message from captain... councilor Anderson today he said he wanted to see me on the Citadel, who am I to deny an old friend, that and he may be able to tell me where Ashley is.  
Next stop: Citadel ETA nine hours.


	4. Chapter 4

Normandy SR-2 Operative Lawson Private Logs Entry Two:

Well shes not useless, her skills cant be denied especially after what we went through to get Mordin, however her patience could use some work: the clinic was small, dirty, and probably a waste of time but when we reached the back room were the doctor had been working, Shepard introduced us and said we were working with Cerberus (in time she'll learn its best not to say those things right away) and then Mordin began to rant about why we could have been there, Shepard just took a deep breath and listened to his rant and rolled her ice blue eyes when he asked for help.  
"Just once I'd like to ask for help and someone say sure! let's go, no strings attached" she mocked and smirked ( which I must admit I m starting to find a bit endearing). She said that were going to the Citadel to see councilor Anderson, honestly I m surprised she bothered to tell me this it's not like she trusts me and besides she knows I think this is a waste of time, time we do not have.  
Next stop: Citadel ETA three hours.  



	5. Chapter 5

Normandy SR-2 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Three:  
They crossed the line, attack me call me a traitor I don't care, but attack my crew and that s a different story: Hours went by in that chamber listening to all the political reasons why they can't help me, why they think I m a flight risk and why I shouldn't be working with Cerberus. and I stood there and took it, all of it, like I was trained to do but I was also trained to defend my crew. After 'negotiations' got us no where they resorted to low blows.  
"well, Shepard it seems Cerberus is the only one who will back your believes..." the turian councilor said stressing the word " or do you simply like having them around for... entertainment?" stressing the word again as his eyes lingered on Lawson.  
"Why would I need entertainment?" I scoffed "the council screws me on a daily bases.." the word came out harsh to get the point across (the point being my crew is not up as a discussion topic). My eyes locked onto him, no one dared to speak for a while.  
"I-I believe we're getting off track here" Anderson step in bravely.  
"councilor Anderson is indeed right" here came the olive branch "we are willing to reinstate you Spectere status..." the asari councilor reasoned " IF you're willing to stay out in the terminus systems."  
I should have excepted, ('don t burn bridges' ran through my mind) but I was still angry, no I pissed off at them " you want me to bend over too?" no one in the room could believe what I just said, hell I couldn't believe it.  
"very well Shepard..." the asari councilor said, rather coolly for just being told to shove it. "perhaps, we will talk again" and the three councilors left, Anderson stood there staring at me, and then smiled.  
"the lines you cross for your crew" he laughed.  
"he's always pissed me off" I said defensively, I didn't give up being a Spectere for Lawson (did I?).  
"do you want me to bend over too?" he said mocking me, as we laughed it off.  
"It's been... fun, Anderson but I have to get back to my mission" I said with a handshake.  
As I approached the door he called after me "don t get dead Shepard". I smiled.  
Next stop: Omega nine hours. 


	6. Chapter 6

Normandy SR-2 Operative Lawson Private Logs Entry Three:

She defended me, she actually defended me. Of course its one of her policies, I've seen it time and time again in the reports I've read - she always protects her crew - even when we ran into the quarian she gave what could have been important Intel because she was asked to. She tried to deny it after wards, with Anderson said that he's always pissed her off, but I m smarter than that, I could see it when the turians eyes closed in on me her whole demeanor changed, getting her angry seems to be a hard thing to do (believe it or not) but all it took was one look at her crew and any chance they had at keeping their poster girl flew out the window.  
Next stop: Omega seven hours.  



	7. Chapter 7

Normandy SR-2 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Four:

Well it's about time I got someone on board I can trust. I can't believe Garrus went all vigilante but hey I guess it's one way to keep fighting to bad guys. He's changed he's colder more cut off though he doesn't show it. But then again I've changed too, I've done things these past few weeks that I would never have done two years ago, I tell myself that it's the circumstance that it's only the situation that has changed, but I m lying, I've changed I won't hesitate to kill an innocent if it means that the mission is a success or reason with someone for the sake of others, this mission is done my way no tape to hold me back no line I can't cross and that scares me. I'm turning back into that kid on the slums of earth, and I don't like her.


	8. Chapter 8

Normandy SR-2 Operative Lawson Private Logs Entry Four:

Shepard has relaxed since Valkarin has joined us, they talk all the time in the mess hall, laughing and making fun of each other. This is good for her I think, to be able to talk to someone to feel like she belongs here again, they certainty are close though. All the records and files I've read about her suggest that they were the best of friends of maybe more. I wonder if they were together on the last Normandy that would explain her trust in him and how relaxed she has become maybe I should ask her about this, though I doubt she would tell me if they were. 


	9. Chapter 9

Normandy SR-2 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Five:

I couldn't help but laugh:  
"Garrus?" I stared at her with a smile on my face as I leaned over her chair across from her. "Garrus? As in the turian that spends most of his time in our main battery? That Garrus?"I laughed smoothing my hair back.  
"Well, you are very close and it just made since that-" Lawson started to analyzing the situation.  
"But Garrus?" I interrupted her, I've never thought of Garrus that way maybe it was because I had Ashley before but Garrus was more of a pain in the ass best friend then the secret love affair. "Lawson, didn't you say you spent two years learning everything there is to know about me?"  
"Yes Commander, I believe I said something along those lines" shocked that I pay attention to anything she says.  
"Well, then Lawson you should have found out the last relationship I was in was on the Normandy" I stopped standing up a little more straighter " but I was involved with gunnery chief Ashley Williams, not Garrus Valkarin." I said leaving her office.  
Next stop: Purgatory ETA twelve hours.  



End file.
